When you are starting your life all over after you go through a divorce, you might have people in your life who will tell you that it’s impossible to find love after divorce. Some people will even try to tell you what you do (or don’t) deserve at this stage in your life.
Here are five common lies people will tell you after you’ve gone through a divorce and decide that you’re ready to fall in love again.
1. You are now considered damaged goods.
There is something about going through a bad relationship that tends to make people feel like they are incapable of being loved. Fortunately, that stigma is fading, and people are embracing the fact that they are worthy of moving on and finding happiness.
When you decide that you’re ready to find love again, consider your experience and look at what you have to offer. You were in a relationship before, you’ve learned from it, and you can take those things on to the next relationship.
2. There aren’t many singles out there.
Many people (namely the single people in your life) will tell you that there aren’t many good single people out there who are looking to settle down. You may even believe that because you, yourself hadn’t had much luck finding anyone you really want to get to know on a romantic level. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any good singles — you just have to look.
3. Your time is running out to find love.
After you split with your partner, you may feel this sort of pressure to find someone new because you aren’t going to be young forever. You might feel like with each year that passes, you’re becoming more undesirable. Forget that way of thinking! People are finding love, no matter how old they are. With that said, you do want to avoid falling into that stage where you’ll just settle for anyone because you’re afraid of ending up alone.
4. Your baggage is going to ruin your new relationship.
The only way your old baggage is going to ruin a new relationship is if you let it. If you’ve worked on yourself and found closure with your previous marriage, you’ll be more aware of the habits and patterns that may have caused your marriage to end. You are going to have to pay attention to what’s going on around you, but when you do, you can communicate your concerns with your new partner and work on those problems together. Baggage isn’t a divorced person’s problem, it’s something that everyone has.
5. You will feel complete once you are in a new relationship.
For some reason, people assume that if you are divorced or single, you somehow aren’t whole or complete. This line of thinking will cause people to get into a relationship that they aren’t ready for or that is totally wrong for them. You have to be comfortable with yourself first before you can hope to find someone new to fall in love with. A new relationship isn’t going to heal your heart miraculously, only you can do that.