When you were in your 20s, you were dating anyone who was cute or who could make you laugh. You’ve probably kissed plenty of frogs along the way, too. But now that you’ve hit your 30s, something inside you feels different.
What could it be? According to Kristen Carpenter, Ph.D., and the Director of Women’s Behavioral Health at Ohio State’s Wexner Medical Center, women look at their lives, and they start refining certain aspects of it. You look for things to enrich your life while you juggle your blossoming career life. All of this is helping you pave the way to where you want to be in your 40s.
Carpenter also says that this is where you start balancing your work and the rest of your life. Women who want to fall in love and have a family start wondering how they’ll fit it all in their lives while still having a successful career.
With a few changes in the way you think, it is possible to have it all—maybe not all at once, though.
1. Redefine your priorities.
When you were in your twenties, you felt like you can do it all, and it’ll be easy to achieve all of your goals. While that’s a great plan, things rarely fall into place so easily. You’ve got to decide what’s more important to you and focus on that.
2. Identify what it is that you’re looking for.
This is your chance to do a little bit of soul searching. You want to recognize the traits that you do and do not need a partner. This means that you aren’t going to settle for anything less than what you need. Keep in mind, though, there is going to be a difference between what you need in a relationship and what you want.
3. Create a strategy.
Okay so dating isn’t quite like a game of Risk, but you should have some kind of strategy in place to maximize your options. The best way you can do this is by approaching this part of life with as much effort and intention as you would a friendship or a career. You want to actively put yourself in a position where you’ll be able to meet like-minded men who want a long-term relationship.
4. Quickly identify a relationship that is going nowhere.
Surely you’ve met plenty of men who you look back and wonder what were you thinking when you dated them. Maybe you took a risk on the joker that made you laugh, only to find out that he was like that 24/7 and had not one single serious bone in his body. The less time that you spend with a guy or relationship that doesn’t meet your standards, the more time you can spend looking for the right guy. When you do find him, you don’t want to rush anything. Make sure he truly is everything that you had hoped for!
5. Set better boundaries.
Set aside a little bit of time for yourself where you can hunker down with a pen and paper and jot down everything you want in your future. Then jot down your previous behaviors and habits that got in the way of you being able to achieve those goals.
When you’re done, you can look over the list and get a better of the idea of what areas needs to be worked on. You can have it all, it will just take a bit of planning and culling of bad habits and bad relationships. In the end, you’ll discover it was all worth it when you find someone you truly love.ea of what areas needs to be worked on. You can have it all, it will just take a bit of planning and culling of bad habits and bad relationships. In the end, you’ll discover it was all worth it when you find someone you truly love.