5 Relationship Mistakes Even Smart 30-Something Women Make

mature singlesIf you don’t know how to date when you’re in your 20s, chances are your 30s aren’t going to be that groovy for you. However, before you write everyone off, you have to remember that things come with higher stakes as you get older. You might be embracing your freedom now, but the truth is your friends are settling down. After a while, you might start getting tired of always being the third wheel. So, how can you fix this? Well, that’s for another time—let’s focus on what you should stop doing instead.

1. Sticking to your “type.”

You’ve got plenty of dating experience under your belt, and you’ve probably got a “type” that you go for. You might even be happy with this type, but for those who aren’t satisfied because your type isn’t doing it for you anymore, switch it up! Date someone out of that type and meet someone new. Who knows who you might hit it off with!

2. Waiting for things to fall into place.

It is nice to have high goals and big dreams, but they don’t happen over night or by magic. You have to work for them, and yes this means even with relationships. Stop assuming that the love of your life will waltz through the door the second you get that big promotion. Love will happen on its own terms—and you’ve got to work for it.

3. Being too direct.

We understand that you might be concerned that the biological clock is ticking. While you are dating, getting to know someone and deciding if you want that person to be a part of your life are all steps in a delicate process that require patience and restraint. In truth, that also applies to being in the relationship itself, too. So be gentle: it's good practice.

4. Holding out for that perfect someone.

You're wise enough to realize that being in a committed relationship requires one element; it's called compromise. The key to compromising is to go after the important things — kindness, affection, ambition or whatever it is that makes you happy — and let go of the stuff that you don’t really care about. Maybe this means you have to deal with his clean-freak tendencies, or maybe it’s the fact that you earn more than he does. Decide which "undesirable" traits you can live with in the long run because nobody's perfect — not even you.

5. Allowing your self-pity to win.

Oh yeah, there’s another Facebook engagement announcement on your wall makes a grand total of 16 friends this week. Sad, isn't it? Yeah, you're entitled to a few seconds of self-pity, but after spending every waking moment watching Gilmore Girls, you've got to let go and move on. A diamond might be forever, but a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips is just as harrowing.