As we go through life, we are going to have numerous relationships. Some will end on good terms while others may end badly, thus leaving us scarred in one way or another. These bad relationships usually cause us to throw up these walls around our hearts so that we don’t feel that kind of pain again, but more often than not, we forget how to let down that guard and learn to let love in again.
By doing this, you could be missing out on some incredible people who want to get close to you—be it romantic or otherwise.
Here're a few ways that you can let down your guard and prepare yourself for the possibility of falling in love again.
Before you even think about re-entering the realm of dating and falling in love, you should make an effort to identify your fears and write them down. You want to explore all the reasons why you built that wall and what it is that you think will happen if you let someone get close to you again.
Create a list of goals that you hope for in your next relationship. This list can be done alongside the fear list or below it. Either way, you can clearly see where you want your next relationship to be and you can see what is preventing you from finding someone that you can have that relationship with.
Get out there and meet people. This could mean that you join a singles club or a speed dating event. You can even employ the help of your friends and have them take you out for a night on the town. The name of the game here is to get out there, meet people and look through your list of what you want in a relationship and what’s holding you back. This will help you to remember that although it is okay to have the fears you have, you need to still reach for the relationship goals because your happiness is worth the risk you’ll have to make to achieve them.
When you meet someone new, feel free to talk about your hobbies and what you want for the future. You never know when you may find someone with similar goals and interests! You want to keep things positive and avoid bringing any negativity into the conversation, so avoid talking about any previous relationship—at least in the beginning stages of getting to know someone.
Don’t be afraid to trust someone. While it is understandable that building trust with someone new may be challenging, you have to understand that not everyone is going to hurt you. You’ll find that when you’re able to trust someone, your relationship will be that much stronger for it, thus boosting your confidence in said relationship.
Don’t be afraid to rebound if the relationship fails. Not everyone that you meet will be your perfect match (of course), but you also shouldn’t dwell on what went wrong. You shouldn’t use this failed relationship as a reason to swear off dating for another year or so and barricade yourself behind another wall. Instead of doing this, just get back out there and try again. Remember, you’re worth the risk!