Divorce isn’t a finish line; it’s a plot twist. And according to expressive arts therapist and single parenting coach Sheva Ganz from A ReCreative Life, the story that follows can be even more fulfilling, if you decide to rewrite it. “Life doesn’t get better by chance,” says Sheva Ganz. “It gets better by change.” Here’s how that change begins.
First Comes Healing – Let Go of the Victim Card
Before you start dating again, you’ve got to meet someone important: yourself, post-divorce. Healing starts when you stop replaying old scripts and start taking responsibility for your emotional well-being.
That means:
- Give up the victim card. No more “this happened to me.” Instead, think “this happened for me.”
- Challenge your thoughts. Ask: “Is this belief helping me grow or keeping me stuck?”
- Rediscover your emotional independence. Journaling, therapy, or expressive arts can help turn pain into perspective.
Healing doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t hurt. It means using that pain as creative fuel for something new – and better.
Recognize the New You – A Divorced Single, Not a Broken One
Once the healing begins, it’s time to recognize your new identity. You’re not “someone’s ex” anymore – you’re a divorced single, single parent, or divorced dad/mom who’s learning how to live life on new terms.
Encourage yourself to reclaim your identity by asking, “Who am I now that I’m no longer part of that old partnership?”
This stage is about self-awareness: learning what you like, dislike, and what kind of connection feels right for this chapter of your life.
Maybe you’re a single mom rediscovering her creativity, or a divorced dad realizing how much joy there is in shared weekends and solo adventures. Recognizing yourself again isn’t about filling the space someone left, but about expanding it with who you are becoming.
Re-Parent Your Inner Self: Tools from the Expert
In the podcast, Sheva Ganz talks about something she calls “re-parenting” – treating your inner self with the care and guidance you might have wished for after your divorce. She explains that for many divorced singles (whether you’re a single mom, single dad, divorced parent or simply a divorced adult), part of the healing is rewriting your internal script, not just your external status.
What “Re-Parenting” Means
- Imagine the version of you who went through your marriage and later your divorce. That version may carry fear, self-blame, or woundedness.
- Re-parenting invites you to speak to that version with kindness: “It’s okay. You are safe now. I’ve got you.”
- When you shift from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What does this experience ask of me now?”, you move from victimhood into agency.
The “4 F’s” – Your Purposeful Compass
Use the “4 F’s” tool to connect to purpose post-divorce. They are:
- Feel – Notice and accept your emotional state (anger, relief, sadness, hope) without judgment.
- Find – Identify what new part of you is emerging (your values, your desires, your creativity).
- Form – Begin to shape how you want your life to look (your role as a divorced single, single parent, divorced dad/mom, the kind of dates you seek).
- Flow – Let the movement of life carry you forward; respond to opportunities (such as starting to connect on a dating site) rather than waiting for perfect conditions.
See You, New You – and Date Yourself First
Before you date anyone else, take yourself on a date. No, really. Date yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company first.
Get coffee alone and don’t check your phone. Take that art class. Reconnect with things you once postponed for your relationship. The more you treat yourself like someone worth knowing, the more naturally you’ll attract people who agree.
When you’re ready to explore real connections, LoveAgain.com is the perfect space to start. It’s a community where divorced singles, single parents, and mature daters come together not out of desperation but out of readiness – readiness to try again, laugh again, and love again.
Cocoon in Comfort – Then Spread Your Wings
Healing and rediscovery are easier when you’re surrounded by good energy. Let’s call this the “cocoon phase.”
Surround yourself with:
- Friends who uplift, not drain.
- Family who believes in your future.
- Communities that inspire hope, like support groups or creative circles.
And then, when you feel your wings growing strong again, start dating someone new.
But here’s the thing: approach it with curiosity, not expectation. See it as a chance to practice connection, communication, and authenticity. LoveAgain.com offers a safe, encouraging space where you can meet people who understand that everyone deserves a second act.
Stop Looking Back – The Future Is Flirting with You
A failed marriage doesn’t define your capacity to love; it defines your capacity to grow. Every ending is an invitation to begin again with more wisdom.
When you’ve done some of the internal work – healed, recognised yourself, experience re-parenting, dated yourself, cocooned in supportive people – not looking back ensures that you’re bringing your whole self into new relationships. For divorced single moms and dads: it means stepping into dating not from a place of “I need this” but from “I’m ready for this.”
Looking forward means giving yourself permission to hope, flirt, and believe in connection again. Whether you’re a divorced mom, single dad, or anyone rebuilding after heartbreak, the next great love story starts when you turn the page – not when you reread the last chapter.
“You can’t wait for your life to get better – you create better by choosing change.“
Divorce may have rewritten your story, but you’re the author of what comes next. With time, self-compassion, and a willingness to grow, you can turn heartbreak into hope – and change into connection. New love doesn’t just appear by luck; it blossoms when you’re brave enough to begin again.
And when you are ready, online dating becomes not just another site you log in to, but a place where you bring your new self, with healthier boundaries, clearer intentions, and a fun attitude.
So don’t wait for luck to change your love life. Create that change. Start where healing meets hope – on LoveAgain.com – where real people rebuild, rediscover, and rekindle love every day.