Help. I’m a 45-year-old guy who recently got out of a 6-year relationship. I consider myself an attractive man, I’m in good shape, have a good education, and I’m emotionally and financially stable. I don’t understand why the women I approach don’t seem to want to go out with me.
I’m ready to start a family, so I’ve been trying to meet women in their 30s because I figured this would be around the age they would want to settle down, too. But it just isn’t happening for me. What am I doing wrong?
-Alex
Dear Alex,
You’re right, you do have quite a lot going for you, and it is understandable that you are feeling a little downtrodden because you aren’t getting the response you’re hoping for.
What you may not see is that what you want isn’t aligned with what women want.
Men, when they are between 25 and 34, tend to mess around a lot. They have countless options for women they want to date, they are making strides in their careers, and they aren’t that concerned about settling down. It’s only when they hit 35 that they start thinking about a family and whatnot. Men who are beyond that age typically want to date women who are somewhere in the 27 to 34 range.
Unfortunately for these men, the women in that age range are independent, just like the men are. They have just as many dating options, and their careers are also going well. Once the women his 35, they should want to settle down and get into a serious relationship, but it doesn’t always work like that.
Men who are between 35 and 40 want to take their time before deciding that they are ready to be fathers, which is why they seek out the 27 to 34-year-olds. Women that are around the same age as men already know they are ready to be mothers, and they don’t need to wait. The men they want to settle down with, men their age, aren’t looking for them.
It’s a vicious cycle.
This is why you, Alex, are having a hard time meeting a woman in her 30s that is ready to have children. You should be looking to date someone who is in her late to the early 40s.
You should find and date people who are looking for you. This advice can work for women in their early 40s. The women these men are looking for are looking to date younger women.
One way that you can guarantee that you will meet a woman in your age range who is ready to settle down and have children is by trying an online dating site. There you can search for women specifically in your desired age range and look for those who want marriage and children. From there… The rest is up to you.